I have never blogged before so here goes:

First and foremost, hello Matt, it has been a real long time, hasn't it?  How are you my old friend?  I am impressed by your little site here and have been looking it over for months.  I have always been a fan of your work, and am glad to see that you are still putting your energy into art.  Your book, although a bit too dark and erotic for me, is extremely well written and I can't wait for you to put more on this site.  Your blogs show that your wit and view of the world are the same as when we were kids.  I have very fond memories of our youth, sneaking off in the green Mustang to smoke, playing General Chaos until dawn, and just hanging out together are some of my favorite memories from growing up.  I have  know of Feedback, Double Shot, and One Eyed Jack for longer than anyone on this site, and am happy to see them again.  Thank you for making this site and making it free and open for anyone who want to share their thoughts on here. 

Although my views are not in line with several of the members on this site, I hope that my views can be respected and looked at as open mindedly (sp?) as I have looked at the members on this site.  On my profile, members may note that I am a Christ Follower (more commonly known as a Christian), before I get ripped to shreds for saying that, let me say that I am not here to thump people with my Bible, I am not here to "save your souls" (even though that would be nice).  I am here to have an open dialog with interesting people and to reconnect with an old friend.  I will talk about God in my posts, but that is how I try to view the world, through God's eyes.  Note that I call myself a Christ Follower, not a Christian.  I feel that the term "Christian" is tarnished with stains that true followers of Christ would love to forget about.  That being said, I want to start my journey here with appologies.  I want to say that I am sorry for the things that people have done in my God's name; starting with the Crusades and Inquisiton, through all the atrocities that people have claimed they have done in the name of God.  People who have murdered and said that God told them to do it.  Wars being waged, like the ones in Iraq,Afganastan, and Lybia.  Wars that have been waged "because God wanted us to go to war."  For the idiots who protest at funerals for brave soldiers who died for us, FOR US!!!  People who demean young women who are allready humilliated, going into clinics who have to make horrible decissions.  My God would not stand on a street corner and belittle people in distress.  NO, he hung out with them and encouraged them.  And, for the recent pastor who claimed that Doomsday was on us.  I appologize for him, not his followers, had they read their Bible, they would know that no one knows when that day will come.  Also, come on people, if a man says the world is ending and then takes your money, shouldn't you think that is wierd?  Seriously?  I believe that my God wants us to question him at times, some of the stuff that He claims is pretty hard to swallow.  Hell, I even get mad at Him at times.  Where I work, I deal with death and bad situations constantly, I have watched so many people die and suffer, that I lost count of them.  I don't understand why God allows some people to suffer a painful death from a disease they didn't want, and 2 rooms down a person we are caring for attempted suicide, and then complains that our ice cream sucks.  I don't know why He allows this, and frankly at times I get so mad at Him, that I wish I could walk away.  But, the promise and hope that He gives me, drives me back to him.   

That is the cool thing about my God, he loves you no matter what, whether you choose to follow him or not.  Wether you are black, white, gay, straight, dying of cancer, attempting suicide, Muslim, or Christian.  He hates the sin but loves the person.  It is our free will to sin or not.  

So, I hope that this at least may change the minds of some about the type of Christ Follower that I am, and the type of people that Follow Christ with me.  We are a group of people who are trying to figure out life and God as we go.  We help the needy, we buy houses, fix them up, and rent them out for free.  We hang out together and love each other, and try to make our world a better place.  We don't stand on street corners and yell, unless we are telling people that we love them.  I hope that by explaining myself a bit, I will ease some fears of me being a Christian.  

Now, on to what is on my mind.  I cried today for the first time in months.  Due to my job I have trained myself to not cry, if I didn't I would cry every day.  It felt good to cry, it is proven that tears from sorrow have different chemical properties than tears of joy, many people say that it is toxic chemicals that are flushed with a sorrowful cry, and I truely believe it.  

The reason I cried was due to a story similar to one of Matt's from a few weeks ago.  I was driving to work today, windows down, minding my own business.  When I witnessed a man who was on a street corner begging for food, or money, I don't know...being arrested.  He was begging the cop not to take him.  I wondered if he had a family, if they were deppending on him?  If he had a disorder that kept him from working?  If he just could not find a job?  This man was being arrested on the busiest street in town, as if he was not humilliated enough?  Now he was being arrested in 100 degree heat, while hundreds of people sat in their air conditioned cars and watched.  Could this man ever feel like a man again?  I wanted to help him, I wanted to save him, but I could not, I would have been late for work.  Maybe I would have been arrested.  What kind of a man am I?  I claim to love others, but I watch a man suffer and do nothing?  What have we become?  This country has enough doesn't it?  No, we are fighting wars over seas, billions of  dollars a day, people here starve.  Are we even human anymore?  I look around and am disgusted by myself and fellow man.  God, did not create us this way.  Sometimes free will sucks, sometimes I want God to tell us what to do, audibly, with no room for interpretation.  But, it does not work that way.  I prayed for his soul, for the soul of the officer, for the souls of the people in the cars watching, and for my own soul.