Originally posted 16 November 2007

I am, perhaps, an idiot savant.

I am, perhaps, just an idiot.

There are things that I simply do not understand:  things that I am informed are common knowledge; things that I do not understand because I am naive, or ignorant, or both, because "that is just the way things are".

Apparently, things do not change.  If they could, perhaps that would not be "the way things are".  Perhaps it would not be "the way the world is".

I simply cannot accept some things.

I cannot believe that people starve to death outside of some form of death camp or personal hell.  I go to the grocery store and watch people take spoiled food from the shelves and throw it away.  How can people die from starvation when there is, apparently, so much food that some must be discarded?

I cannot believe that people die from influenza, from infections in minor wounds, from common diseases cured with penicillin.  I go to the drug store and there, on the shelf are thousands of bottles of medicine.  Antibiotics, fever-reducers, anti-histamines.  I watch as some of them are taken away because their shelf life has expired and they must be destroyed.  How can people die from easily curable diseases when there is, apparently, so much medicine that some must be discarded?

I pump gas into my car because that is what makes it go and the sticker on the pump tells me "10% Ethanol Added; Cleaner Air For Illinois".  I think to myself that that is nice.  Cleaner air is nicer to breathe and if adding ethanol makes gas cleaner, that is probably a good idea.  It occurs to me, however, that if 10% ethanol makes gas 10% cleaner, then would not 100% ethanol be 100% clean?  Would not clean air be more desirable than cleaner air?  Would not no emissions be more desirable than fewer emissions?  I am told that ethanol is very expensive to produce and that it will make food more expensive.  I am confused because oil must be drilled from the ground.  I am led to believe that this is a very dangerous job.  The oil must then be shipped and trucked to a refinery where it is refined and the refinery poisons the air and water and then the gas must be shipped and trucked to gas stations where it is put in the underground tanks so cars may consume and burn it and poison the air and water and land even more.  I wonder which one truly has a greater cost.  I am confused.

I hear in the news about the lack of workers and how the state of Illinois (and probably many other places) will have a shortage of workers in the coming years which will lead to Bad Things for the economy.  I see people who have no job and sleep on the street and beg for money and food.  These people have no job.  These jobs have no workers.  I wonder how it is this does not just sort itself out.  How can there be a worker shortage and an unemployment rate simultaneously.  I think it is silly, but am told that I am silly and do not understand the way the world works.

I see a story about a dessert, a single dish, that costs $25,000.  I am confused.  I can work for a whole year and pay my bills and buy food and gas so I can get to work and toys for the children and clothes for my back OR I can work for a whole year and buy a dessert?  This seems silly to me, but I am told I am silly, because I do not understand these things.

When I was a child I was taught that killing is wrong and bad and you get in trouble if you kill.  I see in the news where one person has killed another for love or money or love of money or, perhaps, all three and gets in very big trouble for this, sometimes even killed.  I see in the news that thousands of people are killing each other in places not this and they are heroes and they get medals and rewards and parades.  I am confused by all of this.  If killing is wrong, why not just stop?

When I was a child I was taught that fighting is bad, that I should use my words and not my fists to solve problems.  I was taught that the first to resort to violence is the real loser.  Have I been lied to?  Bombs and guns and poison gas and thermite and napalm and depleted uranium rounds are thrown by the ton at an insignificant area of the globe because a few people tried to pick a fight with the United States.  They were, apparently, successful.  Was it not the responsibility of the United States to be the bigger person and walk away?  Does not the President's God teach him to turn the other cheek?  To forgive and forget?  To not cast the first stone?  Perhaps I misread those scriptures in Sunday School.

"This man is dying," I say.
"What is wrong," the doctor asks.
"He is sick and needs medicine."
"This pill will cure him."
"Give it to him."
"It costs $300.  Does the man have $300?"
"No, he does not, nor do I."
"I'm sorry, but he is fucked."

Why is it that a pill is worth more than a human life?  Why is it oil is worth more than a human life?  Why is it that a pair of shoes, a million dollars, fifty dollars, five dollars, a shiny watch, a fluffy toy, a fast car, and comfortable living conditions are worth more than a human life?  Is not life sacred?  Is that not why the "Pro-Life" advocates scream and throw blood and say whore, and murderer, and baby-killer?  Is life only sacred when you can pay for it?  Is health only worth preserving in the insured?

Why is it that a hamburger is worth more than a human life?  Why is it that a warm coat is worth more than a human life?  Is not life sacred?  Is that not why animal rights activists throw paint on fur coats?  Is that not why vegans exist?

Why is it that a piece of paper, or a ream there-of, is worth more than a human life?  Is life not sacred?

I cannot buy a human, that would be wrong.  I cannot pay for the medicine to save a man's life, but that is okay.

I do not understand.

"But that is the way the world is."

But does it have to be?

Can it not change?

Can we not change?

Can I not change?

Can you?